Reflect on why you are criticising yourself. Who you are, who you want to be.Try to understand why certain things make you feel certain ways and that criticism of yourself may not just string from you but your surroundings. Reflect on who you are in this moment. Reflect on your favorite and least favorite parts of yourself. Talk yourself through everything at that moment. There are a few simple steps in how to combat this self criticism:
- Self critical thought: that girl did so much better in a test compared to me, and (as always) she talked about over and over again. (Just a disclaimer this is an example I am imagining this situation for explanation purposes pleasseeee do not take offence).
- Consequences (feelings & behaviors): I feel angry with myself and want to withdraw from the world. When I revise, all I can do is think about how bad I am at it, which makes me do worse and worse in the test.
- Rational Response: It makes sense that she would be better than me at this because she revises a lot more and perhaps in a way that is more effective than I do. But that does not mean that I’m not good. I will get better the more I practice. And, even if I never get to the level she is, I can still enjoy doing x subject. Also, there is much more to my life than x subject. For example, I’m really creative, which something I feel good about.
Be okay with who you are at and in this moment, even if it not who you want to be eventually. Just recognize your current self as a starting point or a transition point. You can’t snap your fingers and wake up a new person – it takes time, patience, and persistence. Just because you are not at your ideal self yet does not merit you a failure and it is important to understand that.
Dealing with your own self doubt and criticism is hard but it is doable and there are ways that you can stop it from getting too much. Self criticism is normal and okay and it’s okay to have days where you don’t feel the best and sometimes you can just feel ‘okay’. It’s about accepting you for yourself and your flaws and that you should be confident in your own knowledge that it is okay to make mistakes. Be confident in the way that you are as we are the curators of our own future, you shouldn’t let past experiences be detrimental to that.
Are there any ways that you deal with your own self criticism? Share in the comments as you might be able to help other people, share the love.
lots of love… eleanor //